My Cousin Lance...

My cousin Lance passed away today.

He had been sick a long time. 

And he had a difficult life.

Growing up, our family spent many hours with our cousins. My mom's side of the family had many children roughly the same as us me and my siblings. We used to drive to Idaho every summer and we also went on long hikes in the Tetons.

Wonderful, amazing times.

Before they had children of their own, my mom's oldest brother and his wife adopted three Native American children, the youngest, Lance, was the same age as my older brother. Even though they were Native American, I felt a connection to them because they and us were adopted, all of us ending up with a family together. Things could have turned out so much differently, but they didn't. 

Because of life, as we grew older we saw less and less of each other. We all went our separate ways. And I saw less and less of Lance, especially. 

I don't know why, but some people seem to have a much tougher time getting through life. We all get knocked down, but it just seems some get knocked down more than most. Lance was like that. When we got together and asked about him, Lance was going through one trial or another. 

As kids, I think Lance was happy, the way all kids seem to be. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know how he saw life as an adult. Was he happy, depressed, anxious, nervous, fulfilled? Most likely he was all of those things.

When a person passes away who has carried demons with them throughout their time on earth, we reflect on their life. There was so much pain. 

I heard recently that Lance was not doing well, so the news was not unexpected. It does not make it less impactful. And even though I've only seen him a few times in the past twenty or so years, I'll miss him. I'll miss the thought of that happy kid playing with us on the often times cold fields of Idaho. Sleep well, cousin, and may God be with you.