Give Thanks...For The Bitter And The Sweet

 Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion states that, "For ever action there is an equal and opposite reaction." In the Book of Mormon, a scripture says basically the same thing, "For it must needs be, that there is opposition in all things..."

The world of science and the world of religion agree (something I believe happens more than people realize...). It's easy to understand Newton's Law...you see an object being acted upon--jumping up in the air, for example--takes energy to jump and gravity pulls you down. Opposition in a spiritual sense...well, that's a little more complicated. Think of the "Shoulder Angel and Devil" as an example. We can look around and see the evil in the world...sometimes it's harder to see the good, but--and I do believe this wholeheartedly--the good is there, stronger than the evil.

It's science.

This past week I learned that a dear friends's family lost their matriarch. She passed after an eight-year struggle with cancer. I only learned of her deteriorating condition the day before. My friend let us all know that his wife might not see 2024. She passed the next day. That night he posted a photo of a tribute given to his sweet wife and family by his neighbors. The passing breaks your heart...the tribute shows how wonderful people can be to each other.

Directly under my friend's post another friend posted a picture of a newborn, a child born only hours before. One of the most impactful events that can happen to human beings is the birth of a child. They sent the social media post to proclaim their joy to us all.

I believe the only connection between these two families is me. I've not seen my friend who suffered the loss in years, but social media can keep us connected. The same can be said for the family with the new edition. Interestingly enough, both the expression of grief and of joy were listed one under another on my social media feed.

Opposition in all things.

One family will start the new year missing their mother/spouse/friend...the other will start a hopefully life-long journey as their family increases. Pain for one family, elation for the other.

The wonderful and tragic thing about life is both families will experience the same thing while they travel throughout this life. My friend and his wife experienced the miracle of childbirth. They know what's coming for the other family. And, since we all die, the family with the new baby has experienced loss, either a close family member or someone more distant, we've all attended a funeral.

The rest of the Book of Mormon scripture reads, "If not so...righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." Whether or not you believe in this book of scripture, the philosophy behind the words are time-tested facts. Without pain, you cannot know joy, without work you cannot appreciate rest, without contention you cannot understand peace.

To every action there's an equal and opposite action.

I mourn for my friend's family. Having never experienced a loss so personal, I cannot understand their pain. I'm also happy for my other friends. At any given time, we're subject to the joys and hardships of life, some severe, some mild, but always evolving. I'm thankful for these experiences, the good and the bad, the bitter and the sweet. The trick is to enjoy the good times and remember the bad times only exist because the good times happened first.

Golfing On New Years Eve...Eve

 Golf.

Some say it's an addiction, others a religion, and still others call it witchcraft.

I think they're all right.

And to prove my point, I give you exhibit A...the pictures included in this post. It's New Years Eve Eve, the day before the last day of the calendar year and our local golf course had participants working on their game.

Need more proof? We live in a cold-winter state. Normally, we would have some measurable snow on the ground--not always, but sometimes--which would make golfing here a bit difficult. Because we live in a place where people don't usually golf during the winter, we are subject to numerous advertisements from locations with warmer climes enticing golfers to drive a few hours south to enjoy year-around golfing in Arizona and Nevada (the fact they have legalized gambling I'm sure helps draw some people...). Earlier this month we drove through Southern Nevada and saw the greens fairways and palm trees surrounding the courses.

Call it Mecca for golfers...

Not THE Mecca, but you get my drift.

I am, in no way, a golfer, even though I have golfed and I liked it when I did. Back in college our university had a 7-hole course on campus. Don't look for it now, because the U of U's campus has eaten up all that open green spaces and filled it with buildings. Too bad...it was a fun, beautiful course. I was never all that good, especially on the drives, but the short game...that's where I did well.

I've yet to join the religion of golf. One day I might be converted, but only if I have a lot of time on my hands, and I mean a lot. I'd have to be retired, and golf would have to be more appealing than writing or photography or other hobbies (some would say other religions, and they'd be right...). 

I don't know how many people took advantage of today's warmer weather and lack of snow on our local course. If they don't mind golfing on the Sabbath, they can enjoy the course tomorrow, too. Plus, we're about as north in our state as you can go. I'm sure all those other courses south of us and hackers on them today as well.

Here's to the golfers! May their drives be straight and the putts precise.

It Was The Threat Of Supply Chain Issues That Compelled Us To Act...

 I admit, we fell victim to shameless TV advertising. It's not something we're proud of, but, well...there it is. And, the ads make this particular product, the Angel View rearview mirror attachment sound almost too good to be true.

Almost.

The TV ad was one of those cheesy ones where actors exaggerate in the most over-the-top way possible the sheer hell life is without the Angel View rearview mirror attachment. Watching the ad it's hard to see how humanity progressed to the point where we have without Angel View. Somehow we did and thankfully, this amazing product is available to the masses.

But, there's a catch...

There's always a catch.

The catch is that due to potential supply change issues, this amazing item may not be available in the future. I have no idea if that statement is true or not. I'm guessing it's not. Yes, there may be a slower delivery process than possible, but if you have something people want, companies will move heaven and earth to get that product to you. Money is an incredible motivator.

We bought two, one for our van, and another for the car our newest driver will be using. We thought the extra-wide field of view would help him with the blind spots. We put it in our minivan and took it for a drive today.

Product review in two words...

It's weird.

The product does what it says it'll do--it shows a wide view of what's behind you and what's on each side, of the car so there's that. Yes, you see the blind spots, but it's so wide that you see yourself and anyone sitting in the passenger seat. Also, it's bigger than what we're used to so it feels like it's taking up much more of the windshield.

One negative (that I believe will get better...) is the non-reality view you get when you look at the Angel View rearview mirror attachment. Since the mirror is curved, I felt like I was looking at a computer or phone screen. The reason I believe things will improve is because our minds have an amazing ability to adapt. After a while, we'll look behind and it'll look normal, not weird at all.

It was the threat of supply chain issues that compelled us to act.

Looks the the threat worked.

Two Years Later...It Still Doesn't Feel Real

 Two years...the video posted by my niece is over ten minutes long, but it only took a few seconds to realize the time since my baby sister passed on this day two years ago has been both an eternity and, at the same time, passed in the blink of an eye.

Death warps time.

Sometimes, it doesn't feel real.

Life is unfair, at times. That is the way of it. Losing a sister only a few years into her fifties isn't fair. Just as her children were having children of her own, just after marrying her life's love, she's taken from those who love her most and who she loved the most. In the past three years there's been a lot of unfairness spread liberally across the globe, and our family was not spared the pain.

We miss our sister/mother/grandmother/spouse/friend. There's a hole that cannot be filled--simply impossible--because they only way to fill the hole of grief is for the person to be returned, and that's not possible, at least, in this life.

Two years...the video posted by my niece is over ten minutes long. Ten minutes is hardly enough to conjure all the memories you and a sibling have shared for decades. I'm glad they gathered the photos and posted them for all left behind. I'm glad Tara called me brother. I'm glad the memories are painful, because that means she was so loved.

Yup...I'd Probably Never Make It Out Of An Escape Room Alive

 My sister got me an awesome gift for Christmas this year. It's marketed as an "Escape Room In A Box."

If that's true...I'm in trouble.

Basically, the Camelot Box has several mini-puzzles you must figure out to get the prize. I figured out the first one--yay. Feeling confident, I moved on to the next. The first puzzle is to figure out how to remove the top of the box. Then, there's a drawing that's a major hint for the next puzzle underneath. I started strong, but after a while (and sore fingers from moving the wooden pieces around...), I put down the box. 

After a short break, I picked it up again and gave it another try. Still no luck. I eventually grabbed the paperwork that came with the box and pulled up the website. There was one little problem...

The instructions weren't there. Don't know if it's a website problem or not. Never fear--I knew I could find the answers. I mean, that's why YouTube was invented. A few clicks later, I was watching a video.

Still, I tried not to go "all in" and watch the whole thing. I'd start the video, get an idea of what to do next, then turn it off and try it on my own. I did okay for a while, but I found myself returning to the video.

Five of the six sides of the box had puzzles. The other side had a key to help. The key was too challenging for me so I skipped it.

Eventually, I conquered the task and gained the prize.

The whole experience got me thinking about escape rooms. I can definitely see the draw and I know many love doing them. I just don't think I'd be good at them. My mind doesn't think that way, and if the box is any indication, looks like my mind doesn't work for other things, either.

Keeping It Simple...

Things were a little different for us this year.

We kept things simple.

Maybe it's a sign of the times, at least, the sign of our family's times. We're not empty nesters, but we do have adult children. That makes a difference. They are making their own money and they can buy presents for each other...many times better presents than they get from their parents.

That's something I can get behind.

Earlier this month we took our three youngest (and a spouse...) to Southern California for a week. We told them that the trip was part of their Christmas from us. They were fine with that. Works for us, too. So, when we came back, we looked at the budget and picked up only a few things. 

Another wrinkle to our usual tradition is because we have married children, things now have to be scheduled. Turns out, this year it was easier for us to meet and celebrate our Christmas today, Boxing Day. Yes, I worked today and so did my oldest, but tonight we gathered, had an amazing meal, then opened a ton of presents. Like I said, it's fun to have kids who make their own money.

Because we got started later than usual this year, we also did less this year as far as outdoor decorations. We hauled up a festive streetlamp, a illuminated deer, and a little Christmas tree. Add a small nativity sign lighted by a bright light and that was it for outside. It's simple.

I love it.

In fact, that may be all we do going forward. I didn't put up any lights around the door or window or on the roof line. Fine by me. Anything that keeps me off a ladder is a good thing, especially as I get older.

It's been a simplified Christmas. It's been a wonderful Christmas. When you think about it, it's not really whether something is big or small, extravagant or plain, all that really matters is the people with whom you associate. And I'm surrounded by the best.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

The Unknown Boy...Conclusion

 On Thanksgiving Day this year, I met my birth mother.

Not in person, though.

About a year after sending a text message to my cousin, I received a text message from my half sister. At first, I thought she was my older sister, the one who was five-years old when I was born. Nope. She was born two years after me. Since that first message, she came up and met my family, met her nephews and niece, and her half sister-in-law. 

So, when I found out about our birth mother, my half-sister and I started communicating. We texted, e-mailed, and spoke on the phone. Turns out, when my birth mom's family found out about me, they found out about her. We found out there would be two calls this Thanksgiving, one for me and one for my sister.

Thanksgiving Day came and waited for the call. As the afternoon ticked, I wondered how the call would go. My cousin said my mother was ill and on hospice. I thought of when my own mother passed away from cancer. She was also on hospice, but until the last couple of days of her life, she was alert, active, aware of her surroundings. This is what I expected.

The call came. I saw my older sister, and she introduced me to my mom.

My mother's condition was so much worse than I anticipated.

My cousin told me our mom was sick. I didn't realize just how sick she was. She was in bed, surrounded by family. My older sister introduced us on the video call. I introduced my mom to her daughter-in-law, and her grandchildren...my mother's only grandchildren. We found out I have another half sister--my mom had four children in all and I'm the only boy. None of my half-siblings have any children, so my mother went her entire life without knowing she was a grandmother.

I wonder if she thought about one day becoming a grandmother. After becoming a grandparent for the first time this year, it's an incredible experience. We told her that not only was she a grandmother, but a great-grandmother as of July. My half-sisters found out they were aunts and great-aunts...something they didn't know, either.

I hoped I would be able to talk to my mother, exchange some stories, even make her laugh. Unfortunately, she was too ill. I told her that never in my life had I blamed her or thought poorly of her for putting me up for adoption. I told her I was grateful for her courage and selflessness. It's a conversation I'll never forget.

The conversation drifted to learning more about my sisters and their families. I found out my younger sister (both, actually...) loves to sing and perform. My mom loved to sing as well. I now know where I got that from. Mom was a firecracker, so full of life and lit up a whatever room she entered. More than once, both sides said we wished we knew of each other years ago.

I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I found out that part of the reason my birth mom didn't end up with my birth father is because my father's mother did not want him marrying a woman who already had a child. What might have been had that woman pushed their union? More unknowns to consider.

We wrapped up the call with promises of hopefully meeting in person soon, with expressing thanks for the incredible opportunity to meet each other. We said good-bye to my mom. Because of her condition, I knew I'd never get the opportunity to meet her in person.

Last week, I got a text message from my little sister. She informed me that our mother had passed. The family is planning a celebration of life in a few months where we hope to all gather and meet each other for the first time. It's a meeting I wondered would ever happen.

When I think back on the events of the past month, there's so many "what ifs." I suppose that's natural with any decision as life-changing and impactful as putting up a child for adoption. What if my mom had told her family about putting up a boy for adoption back years ago? If so, when I contacted my cousin, he would know instantly who I was instead of thinking I was some quack. If so (and if my family would want to meet me...), I'd have been able to visit with my family, have my mom meet her grandchildren in person, and they her. 

But, just like the alternative reality in quantum physics, the other me--the other life--never happened. I take comfort in knowing things unfolded the way they were supposed to. The family was supposed to find out about me during my mother's last days. We were never supposed to meet again in this life. I don't know why things happened the way they did, only that they did.

I'm so thankful that I got to see my mom, see her eyes open when she found out and meet her grandchildren. I got to tell her how thankful I am for her. I've lived a charmed life--I can't think of having it turn out any other way. I'm thankful for the woman I don't know but will hopefully get to know through her beautiful daughters. 

One might say, it was all for naught, yes we met, but things could have turned out so much differently. For me, I'm at peace, for I am the unknown boy no more.

The Unknown Boy...

 

Quantum physics states an object can be in two places at once. It states other things, too, but for this discussion, let's stick with that. Quantum physics opens the door to possible mutliverses, where a thing--even a person--can exist in two different realities.

I feel I've always lived in two realities, the one I know...where I was adopted into a family and raised by loving parents in a home with two adopted siblings.

The other reality...it never happened. It's the reality where I wasn't adopted but raised by a single parent in another part of the country with a sister five years my senior and not knowing how on earth things would work out.

The one was reality...the other, exists only in speculation.

Several years ago, after my mother passed away and decades after my father died, my family gave me an Ancestry.com test for Christmas. I took it and sent it in. The results came back. I found many new things about my genetic history, mostly that my family is centered around two geographic locations...Arizona and Texas. This makes sense since what little I do know about my birth parents is my mother was from Arizona and my father from Texas. That's pretty much it.

The Ancestry.com system allows you to see and contact those who are genetically related to you. I had one that was pretty close--a 1st or 2nd cousin who lived in Arizona. Back in February 2019, I gathered up the courage and sent him an e-mail. It was short saying I was born in November 1965 and asked if he knew anyone in his family who had a baby and put him up for adoption.

Crickets.

Nothing.

I waited, a week, month, even years...no response. I thought maybe the family didn't want to talk about the little boy left behind. I never sent a follow-up e-mail...didn't want to make things worse. Things stayed the same until last month. That's when my cousin responded. The e-mail he sent me said his aunt had given up a boy for adoption and wanted me to call him. He gave me his number. I called him that night.

We spoke, exchanged information. His aunt is my birth mother. She was a single mother at the time already with a five-year old daughter. The relationship between herself and my birth father didn't work out so she made the incredibly brave and selfless decision to allow another family to raise me at their own.

On the call, I asked my cousin why it took so long for him to respond. I wasn't prepared for his answer. He said he didn't respond because no one in his family knew I existed. You see, my birth mother never told anyone about me. My older step-sister was too young to remember when she and her mom traveled to Utah to have me, and my birth mom never told her family she was pregnant.

In all the scenarios, in all the possibilities of my other reality, I always thought others knew about me and maybe they wondered what ever became of the boy given up for adoption those many years ago. Nope...I was the unknown boy. I then asked my cousin about my birth father. He said that from what he understood from his aunt, she never told the birth father she was pregnant.

What?

You mean, the only person to know of my existence on my birth parents's side of the family was my mom?

That's what he said.

As an adopted person, you wonder what it will be like when you make a connection to the "other" family. How will they react? What questions will they have? Turns out, no one on that side of the family ever had those question. They never wondered what happened to the little boy.

They didn't know.

We spoke on the phone for several minutes. I wanted to know about how my mom was doing, questions I've had all my life. Some were answered...some were not. He told me my mother's health was not good--had not been good for years. He said she was in hospice care. My cousin told that they were going to visit his aunt/my mom for Thanksgiving and we could do a video call. 

I'd get to meet my birth mom.

On Thanksgiving last month, we made the call.

To be continued.

Yet Another Device To Tell Time...Or The Lack Thereof

 Yup, Hobby Lobby. If you're ever looking for cute holiday tchotchkes, there's no better store than Hobby Lobby, especially for Christmas decor. Last month my wife and I found a Christmas countdown calendar. It has 24 days listed and a snowflake that you roll from one day to the next.

Precious.

It was kind of cool--before we even took it out of the packaging, you could hold one end high and the other low and the snowflake would roll along the track. Of course, it might still do that outside the packaging, but I don't want to risk it. I'm glad we have it--especially this year. It's as if December never happened...it flew by so fast.

Growing up we had something similar, only it was made of plastic--had to be from the 60s. Think of a hanging a yardstick on the wall, except instead of inches it had days, and to count down the days, there was square that you physically moved down the plastic yardstick to represent which day it was and how many you have left. It was sort of like a belt buckle. 

It was ugly as sin.

Boy, I wish I had that ugly plastic belt buckle-countdown thing now. I'm sure it got tossed when we sold my mother's house after her passing. It may have even been thrown away before she passed...I'm not sure. I wish I had it now because it would remind me of my youth, of the house, of the kitchen where we hung it each Christmas, and especially of my mom.

We like our newest Christmas edition. Since it is its first year, I have no idea if it will be come an endearing heirloom, something the kids will remember when they see it years from now (God willing...), or if it's something they'd even want for their own home and their own memories.

As with all things, time will tell.

Time For Some Additions...

 I noticed an ornament hanging on our Christmas tree the other day, and one thing came to mind...

There's been some changes since then.

Life's funny. Sometime it seems like life moves slow. The busy work season of the year crawls, hot summers and cold winters seem to take forever to end, but then you turn around and it's ten years later...a decade has passed. It's a good thing we have kids because to them, ten years is half their lives (a little more, a little less...). Ten years ago I started attending writing symposiums and writing conventions as an attendant and participant.

Then years ago, our youngest was nine years old.

Fast forward a decade and our youngest is in trade school. Our next youngest is married, our next youngest/second oldest is helping create video games and getting paid for it, and our oldest is married and has become a father himself.

You look at our Christmas ornament and you see none of that.

But, that's what ornaments are, really...just snapshots of what life was like at the time. They're reminders of the life that is when they're first introduced, and what life has become as they age a year at a time...

Kind of like us.

We got a few new ornaments this year. They're not dated so they may just end up as one of those ambiguous decorations that we picked up one of those years, another in a long list of date-less ornaments we hang up each year. What we need are new ornaments that reflect the state-of-the-family, things like "Grandbaby's First Christmas," "Welcome To The Family, Son." You know, things like that.

Maybe that's why people sometimes get bigger and bigger trees as time goes on. Got to have a place for the new changes.

We Always Wanted One Of These...

 As we watched our annual Christmas programs this season, my wife noticed a particular Christmas decoration in one of the classics and she commented on it.

"It'd be cool to have one of those."

I agreed. 

The decoration in question...a wooden Christmas pyramid. If you don't know what that is, think of what Cousin Eddie destroyed as he chatted with Clark Griswold while drinking eggnog (yes, we consider National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation a classic...). The decoration is a simple machine powered by heat. Wooden blades move from the lit candles below and depending on the design, magic happens below. 

Ingenious.

Looking back, I don't think we ever had one of those in our house growing up. I don't think my wife did either. We thought it would be fun to have one. Low and behold, earlier this month we found ourselves in a quaint shop loaded with wooden triangle Christmas decorations. We thought, "Great! We'll get one." Then we saw the prices...not so great. We won't get one. They were amazing, but they cost hundreds of dollars. We don't have hundreds of dollars. Tucked in the corner of the displays, we found something more in our budget, a tiny spinner made of metal instead of wood, and it was powered by a single candle, not several. 

We bought it. We lit it. We watched it turn.

Beautiful.

So, we don't have the big model, or even the medium-sized one. But, we got one that seems to fit our house. Let the underwhelming Christmas displaying begin!

It's Rare...But Sometimes You See The Whole Story

 Many times, more than I can count, an idea will strike me in the middle of the night. I know I'm not alone in this. Ask any writer and they'll tell you it happens. Some attempt to write down their ideas, something I even tried once. It was unsuccessful. The point is, inspiration strikes at any time, any where, whether you're ready for it or not.

Such is life.

But, something happened the other night, something that's pretty rare, at least for me.

I saw the entire story, from the beginning scene, to the end credits...it was all there.

And I couldn't fall back to sleep for a couple of hours.

Truth be told, I've had the bones of the story in my head for some time. The main character, the main conflict, the pivotal scene, the resolution, but it's the details that trip me up, the small things that can be huge stumbling blocks when it comes time to write it all down.

I'm sure the time of the night helped heighten my enthusiasm for my story. In addition to ideas hitting me in the middle of the night, I think those ideas are brilliant. Something about the middle of the night makes ideas sound better than they are. Perhaps that's why so many bad decisions are made when we're supposed to be sleeping.

It had been so long since I opened Final Draft, that I had to re-install it, but I'm determined to write this sucker. This time, I can't use my often-used excuse, "I don't have the whole story figured out."

Nope, not this time.

Happened Upon "A Very Brady Christmas" The Other Day...

 For those of a certain age, just the mention of The Brady Bunch TV show brings back not only memories, but a glimpse of how a generation of children was raised.

It's true. 

The success of the show can be based on many things, but one thing stands out...timing. The show was created in a day when there existed only three channels, four if you count PBS. Because there were only three channels and because kids had access to TV viewing after the school while their parents were working, the networks had to find something to put on the air. I think every kid my age had seen every episode of Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch multiple times.

There were other shows, Lost In Space, Wild Wild West, but the island the the bunch were the biggies.

It's strange, I never saw The Brady Bunch when it was originally aired at night. Never. Just as well. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

The other night I came across the showing of A Very Brady Christmas playing on a local channel. I had to watch, if only for a little bit. It brought back the memories. 

When I watched, it struck me. The actors playing the Brady parents at the time A Very Brady Christmas was filmed were younger than I am now. It's always weird to realize that someone who has always appears old on film are younger than you are.

I did not watch the entire show. Oh, I've seen it before. I knew what was going to happen. And, I suppose, if I had never seen it before, I probably could have guessed what would happen. 

In all these years, I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the original episodes...

It might be too much for me to handle.

I Guess We're Not Important Enough...

 When we were looking for a new place to live a few years back, we had the advantage our parents never had...

We had the internet.

You've heard the term, "bought sight unseen?" That meant something entirely different years ago. Back then, you only had a person's word of what you were buying. Now, we have satellite views, street views, even histories of homes that aren't even for sale. You can see entire neighborhoods, shopping centers, school locations, and even hiking trails close by. We looked at every section of the state, north, south, east, west, and central. We ended up taking two in-person visits--to the middle of the state, and up north.

We chose north.

Yes, I understand that looking at satellite and street views do not give you the same experience as being there in person, but I don't know if anyone can ever say they bought something completely "sight-unseen" again.

Funny thing, when we were looking and checked a home up north, the house did not yet exist on the satellite photos. After driving in the area, we knew it was a new community and judging by the homes that existed in real life vs the satellite image, we concluded the satellite photos were about a year or two old.

No big deal. It always takes time to catch up.

Fast forward several years. Since we moved, twenty or so others have joined us on the hillside. The other day I was checking homes in our area. If you look closely, all the little round tan circles represents a house. You'll notice a lot of little round tan circles. One of them is ours.

I decided to check the neighborhood where we used to live to see if they have updated views. It may look like both satellite images of different communities were taken at the same time. Nope...the picture from the old neighborhood is new, so new that it shows the house in the upper right-hand corner. That house was built last year, which means...

It's a new photo.

Which leaves me to think...are we not as important as those who live sixty miles to the south? The answer is undoubtably yes. at least, as far as satellite photos go. It makes sense. There's close to a million people living in their county and the counties it touches. The same cannot be said for us living in the northern regions.

It's not a big deal. Still...I thought after three + years, they'd at least update our little slice of heaven.

Maybe next year.

Give Thanks...For The Past Three Years

 A memory surfaced in my social media thread today...three years ago our streets, yards, homes, everything was covered in snow.

It was beautiful.

Even though many hate driving in snow at night, I thought it a cool picture. The fog increased the streetlights which illuminated the white that blanketed us all. I went so far as to research the picture on my computer from three years ago and found out exactly when I took the picture.

9:17pm, December 17th, 2020.

Tonight, at 9:16pm, December 17th, 2023 I went outside, stood in the middle of the road, moved (because a car from one of the dozen or so homes above us decided at that very moment to drive down the street...), returned to the center of the street and snapped a picture.

Obvious differences.

There's barely any light in tonight's photo. There is some fog--or smog--lower in the valley, but the camera didn't pick it up. The picture doesn't work at all, except it was taken exactly three years to the day--to the minute--as the one before it.

For our family, winter in the lands close to Idaho have proven something out of the ordinary. I've always loved winter, and I still do, but last year scarred us. As strange as that sound, it's true. I am thankful for the past three years, the adventures we've had, the memories. Had I known what was coming when I stood outside on a cold snowy December night three years ago, I might have made other choices. There's the rub, though. We can never know that.

I wonder what I'll be doing three years in the future, December 17th, 2026. God willing, I'll be here to chronicle the day, or at least, a small part of it. Will we be on this street? Perhaps. Will I remember to go out on the street at 9:17pm on 12/17/26 and take a picture? There's a lesser chance of that. But, if I do, I hope that when I look back on December 17th, 2023 the decisions I made since then were good ones.

After all, that's all that really matters.

Holden, Utah...Facts

 Holden, Utah.

Established in 1855 by Mormon Pioneers and originally called Cedar Springs (a name I quite like...) named after the springs located in town. It was later renamed Buttermilk Fort (a name I quite dislike...) because travelers were urged to enjoy a nice glass of buttermilk as they traveled through town. In 1864 the town settled on the name Holden after a Elijah Holden, a Mormon Battalion member and one of the first settlers. Elijah passed away in 1858 from a snowstorm. Holden has an current estimated population of under 500 people.

The above information was gathered from Wikipedia. I'm assuming it's all true, but there's always a chance I could be getting incorrect information especially since I did not donate the requested $2.75 to Wikipedia.

Never donated...probably never will.

The exit to reach Holden is on Interstate 15 at mile marker 174, which means it's 174 miles from the Utah/Nevada border, going north, of course. It's also 226 miles from the Utah/Idaho border (got that from Wikipedia, too and, no--I did not donate...). It's not quite in the middle of the state, but close.

I've never driven through Holden, only passed by at or around the posted interstate speed limit east of the city. A few years ago, I most likely couldn't relate to those who live in small town Utah, even though where we live now has 20 times the population of Holden. I think, however, I can guess the type of people who live there. They're hard-working. They're honest, for the most part. They're caring and giving and humble. 

If anyone in Holden ever reads this, it would be interesting to see if they concur with my estimation of a typical Holden resident.

A week ago today, my family drove north (and a little east...) on I-15 on our way home. We stopped at the Holden exit to change drivers. I glanced southwest and snapped a few pictures. It's not the greatest picture I've ever taken, but I like it. 

Holden, Utah is also a great place to take a photo.

The Ghosts Of Christmas X Present...

 I mean, at least try a little bit.

I post a picture on X (formally Twitter...) every day. I've explained in the past that when you post a daily picture, most of them are less than optimum. In short, they're not much to look at. A picture of a meal I had, of a bug, of something around the house that I figure will have to do because it's getting late and I never stepped foot outside to get a decent picture--most of the time that's what I come up with.

Every once in a while, however, I hit one out of the park. Either a glorious sunrise or brilliant sunset are usually my "go-to" shots. Over the years, I've taken some pictures I'd love to have hanging in my house.

The picture these three commented on was not one of them.

It wasn't my worst posted picture, but it certainly doesn't warrant such praise (if you want to know which picture and you're on X click: HERE to see it...). This, and the fact that the responses almost word-for-word in their glowing comments tells me something.

 BOTS!!

For the past couple of months, it seems almost all my X interaction is with these bots. They'll like my posts, comment on them, even repost them. Recently, a few have followed me. All the X accounts were created either in November or December 2023. 

Normally, if I ever post a screen shot of accounts on social media, I fuzz out the names so the reader won't know who these people are, but I'm not going to do that this time, because I'm pretty sure those people don't exist. And if they do...

They really ought to try harder.

Looks Like We're...Leader-Less

 Sad day...No, the local newspaper is not going under, but we've decided to stop our subscription. I have mixed feelings about it. As you can see, the paper's only $1.50 per issue and they print The Leader once a week, but it does cost to have it delivered, and by delivered, I mean by the US Postal Service, not by a boy on a bicycle chucking editions and hoping they hit the front porch.

Times have certainly changed.

We decided to subscribe when we first moved in. We thought it would help us get a feel and flavor for the community. And, in many ways, it has. I've learned much about the local sports teams at Bear River High School--Go Bears!--like for example, they have the best girls lacrosse team in the state, and they are competitive in other sports, too.

The paper has brought us news concerning the multiple tax increases coming our way and the latest in local politics. There's a community input section, a place for obituaries, and a TV guide. I didn't know they printed TV guides anymore, but, well...there you go.

I don't know if it's seasonable, but the past couple of editions of The Leader have been scaled down to four pages...front page, inside front, inside back, and back page. There is no inserted pages...just four.

As I write this, I'm watching a Christmas movie that was filmed twenty years ago. Newspapers play a pivotal role forwarding the story. There's even a scene where a boy on his bike is throwing papers onto lawns. Newspapers were so central in our access to information back then. It's amazing how in only a decade or so, we've completely changed. 

Since we've recently made the decision to stop the paper, we may change our mind depending on if we miss it or not. I'm not saying, it'll never happen, but we may have subscribed to our last paper.

Sad day.

A Completed Subaru...

 We had a a free day before we went home last week, so we decided to take a hours-long road trip north and west to Solvang, California.

Lovely town.

I've been to Solvang twice before, though I'd heard about it for years. "It's like a little Danish village in the mountains of California." I was excited to finally see visit. My first impression when my wife and I drove into the city...doesn't really look like a Danish town.

This isn't to say they haven't tried. There are European aspects here and there. Once I realized I wasn't going to re-live some of my most cherished memories of arriving in a small quaint Danish village, I accepted the town for what it is...a place to find some Danish stuff.

When we considered going, I thought about what I could pick up if we went. The pastry in town is delicious, but no matter how much they try, they can't match real ægte dansk weinerbrød. There was something, however, I didn't have that I've wanted since I bought my little Subaru almost four years ago.

A DK sticker.

The little international stickers are everywhere in Europe. Because you can travel to numerous counties in a single day, the stickers let everyone know where the car is from. It probably saves time and helps in communication and other issues. There's probably other practical reasons for the stickers...I don't know. I've always enjoyed having them on our cars. And I could have ordered them through Amazon, but where's the fun in that?

We drove to Solvang and I bought a sticker. When I got home, I cleaned off the back window, removed the backing, and stuck it on. The car's now complete.

There's not a lot of cars with DK stickers on this side of the Atlantic, but it's fun when you see a car drive by with one of those stickers on it. And now, my car's one of those, too.

The Selfie Generation...

 Since we don't travel a lot, I noticed some things on our most recent trip. There were the obvious differences between California and Utah (some similarities as well like a lot of space where no one lives...). One day, we loaded up the van and headed to Universal Studios, Hollywood. If you've been you understand it's a place many people enjoy. 

As did we.

The Harry Potter land was amazing. I've seen pictures, and I know it's not Universal Studios Florida, but I was impressed. Seeing Hogwarts atop a mountain looked spectacular. So much so, I snapped a few pictures. Felt I had to.

I noticed many people getting selfies with that incredible backdrop behind. While we were there, our group took several selfies, both as a group and as smaller groups, and we went about our day at the park.

While my wife and I waited for the kids to get off the rides and other attractions, I noticed people were taking a lot of selfies. As I explained earlier, that's not unusual, but what was unusual is they were taking selfies when it didn't look like the selfie celebrated anything special. I know I'm older and not up on the "hippest trends," but I thought selfies were intended to remember a special moment...

Not for a moment that happens all the time, regular walking around, standing in front of a pole with no discernible markings, looking at the sky. And it wasn't just a singular person doing this. It seemed so strange to me...all these people walking around the park taking pictures of themselves that seemed to be preserving pretty basic historical things.

Weird.

Maybe it's just a California thing, or not. Maybe we need to get out more...

Or not.

MM Enzo...A Famous Ferrari

 Back in the day, when you wanted to know more about stuff, magazines were a great place to go. To catch the latest news about sports, photography, rock bands, teen idols, you hung out at the magazine counter and hoped the store owner didn't get upset at kids reading the magazines for free instead of paying good money for the knowledge contained therein.

But, if you're a fan, there were no cooler magazines than the ones that showcased cars.

Car magazines were king.

The rarer the cars, the more interesting the magazines were. I remember checking them out on occasion. The American cars were sweet--even back then I had an affinity for VWs. Then there were the exotics...Porsches, Lamborghinis, Maseratis, and, of course, Ferraris. I don't know much about sports cars in general or Ferraris specifically. But I do know, when we pulled up to the Chevron in Fillmore, Utah, the car in front of us was special.

I just didn't know how special it was.

I got out and put gas in our car. The Enzo driver was doing the same. I casually asked if I could take a picture of his car. 

"You mind if I take some pictures?"

"Of course," he said. "I'd be surprised if you didn't."

It was then the driver told me that this wasn't just any Enzo. It had a history. Yes, there were less than five hundred of these cars ever made, but this one, the MM Enzo was unlike all the others.

I asked what he meant by that and he said I should do an internet search--just enter "MM Enzo" into the search and I'd find out about that car. That's just what I did. The MM stands for Most Miles. This car has over 100k miles, which is unbelievable, but it also holds a land speed record and was completely rebuilt following a crash.

If you're interested in reading the specifics (and I do recommend checking it out...), just do what I did--enter "MM Enzo into the search. There are several stories and if you check Images, you can check the the crash photos.

I thought, as I heard it drive away (sweet, sweet sound...), how odd it was we showed up at that spot at that exact time. Had we left five minutes earlier, or decided to stop for gas a city before or after, I'd have missed it. Funny how life works sometimes.

Give Thanks...For Spending Time With Families

 Yesterday my family drove through four states to return home from a vacation. It took all day. It's still a miracle we can cover in one day what it took weeks and months to travel only a few hundred years ago. One thing that hasn't changed in the history of all mankind...

The joy of spending time with families.

At least, that's how it is for me.

I don't know much, but I do know that the family is the strongest bond humans can develop...not friends, not co-workers, not strangers. The family unit is what has allowed humans to exist, and anything that breaks down the family, helps to destroy humanity. More educated people than myself may disagree, but it's my opinion, and I hope to never change my mind on that issue.

Family.

This past week we stayed with family in California. My son met some friends from New York state at Disneyland. We were happy to go with him. Each day was a new adventure, each day something different. We even hit the beach on a beautiful December morning a few miles west of Malibu. Just wonderful.

On our last evening there, I stepped outside and took a few pictures of the sunset...Southern California sunset. It's beautiful, and not what the eye can see. It's beautiful to me because I see more than ocean, palm trees, and brilliant colors. I see a home where we stayed, a home that welcomed us with open arms, a home where we felt love...and felt loved.

I am fortunate to have such family in my life. I've tried to foster just such a feeling for my children, and now their children. When family works, there's nothing better in the world. I'm thankful for the time we spent making new memories, the time spent just sitting around a kitchen table talking or putting together a puzzle. It's Heaven on earth.

I don't know when we'll get the opportunity to return. I hope soon. I'd also love to spend time with other family members. Hopefully, we can do that, too. Family...not a diamond, is the strongest substance on earth.

Utah Wins...Just Like Old Times

 I don't attend the games anymore. I could, but the cost and moving an extra sixty miles away makes it that much more difficult. But, there was a time when I attended almost every University of Utah men's home basketball game. As a student, we got free tickets (free...). One season my friend and I were on Row 2 on the aisle. Those were great seats. The place was sold out every home game and the Utah Utes almost always won.

My, how things have changed.

I did a screen shot of tonight's U of U vs BYU game from the Utah Athletic's X account. The clip shows the final seconds of the game. The Utah player drained a free throw putting the game out of reach. Those lucky enough to have attended were given a treat, a game of rivals as passionate as any in the country. It's a feeling desperately lacking in that building, a feeling that was once a given...not anymore. Some can say things are returning to normal, but it's going to take a lot more of what happened tonight to reach "normal." 

Normal is the Utah program being one of the best men's basketball programs in the country, always making the tournament and even coming close to winning ANOTHER national championship. Normal is where teams come into Salt Lake hoping for a win, but expecting to lose. Normal is getting top international talent choosing Utah over other blue chip programs. 

Normal is a long way away.

Normal is what I saw as a twenty-something student with Rick Majerus coaching future NBA stars, NBA champions. We had it so good, so good in fact, we thought the successful Utah Ute brand would shine forever. That's not how things have gone. Many people have worked very hard since those days to return the program to its former glory, but it's difficult. It's so much easier to descend from on high than to go the other direction.

I didn't watch tonight's game. We were on the road, and because we cut cable last month so I wouldn't have been able to watch it even if we were home. I did not listen to the broadcast, either, so I didn't know the score. We did drive through SLC after the game was over and I looked at the mountain to see if the "U" was flashing, or only lit up. 

I saw neither.

I figured, no flashing U meant a loss. It wasn't until I got home that I checked the final score. Watching that clip, seeing a Utah W and a full Huntsman Center, it took me back to when that was normal...

Just like old times.

"Haunted Yuletide" Is On Sale...Pick Up Your Own Copy Today!

 It's true. Haunted Yuletide is no sale for a limited time and you can get your own copy on Amazon. 

The book's been out for a couple of years, and if I'm not mistaken, it's the last story I've had published. Of course, that's not the reason you should buy it--you should buy it for mine and all the other stories. 

As with other anthologies with whom I've been associated, this time I've been fortunate enough to be included with authors who I also consider friends. The editors for Haunted Yuletide, Jay and Julie Barnson, I've known for the past decade. They're amazing authors and even better people. 

You can access the book's website by clicking: HERE. I know my story was fun to write and I'm glad it was included among so many other fun stories.

Make Christmas spooky again! Haunted Yuletide is a great place to do exactly that.

It's That Time Of Year Again...This Time, It's Not The Same

 Last weekend, we were hit with our first big snowstorm of the season. My definition of "big snowstorm" is any storm where the driveways need to be cleared of the white stuff. And if you need to clear them multiple times in quick succession, well, that's a really big storm.

We got that.

Last year was such a devastating winter as far as snowstorms were concerned. Last year (and the year before that...), my family was hired to shovel the driveways and sidewalks for eighteen homes in a senior living community. The first year we did it, we shoveled four times...

Four times.

Last year, I honestly cannot remember how many times we shoveled because it was SO much. The first year, we had five shovelers. Last year...three. At the end of the snow season last year we made the decision to not continue to side gig. It was a tough decision because it was good money, but we just couldn't do it. It was too difficult on us physically. This year, had we continued, we'd be down to only two shovelers--myself and my wife--and there would be several new homes to clear.

When the show began falling last week, I honestly got twitchy. I hated snow so much that those old feelings returned. Thankfully, we only had to remove the snow from our own driveway and to clear my mother-in-law's driveway when the new snow removal service doesn't clear it.

So much better!

Before last winter, I actually loved it when it snowed. I love the way the landscape looks after a good snowstorm. I'm hoping for that love to return. 

Morning On The 15th Hole...

 Before the golfers gathered, before the golf balls sailed either overhead or errantly toward buildings or living things, before the world begins its work day, the sun gently rises above the 15th hole, the longest on this particular course.

It's completely captivating.

The view is a combination of greens and blues, shadows and light. Trees--some tall, others not as much--surround the grass creating a natural barrier between the competition and living spaces, between  relaxation and life. The manicured lawn rolls forward and back, behind is history, in front is the future. Where I stand is the present.

The sun peaks through the tall trees until the earth's rotation allows it to shine free of obstruction. That's when the golfers arrive. That's when those who may or may not have other duties to which they should attend pass by, maybe hoping to improve their "skills," but maybe not. Maybe they just want to forget about life or a couple hours while they smack the crap out of a little white ball.

Many disparage golf courses for a myriad of reasons. From destroying the environment to helping to proliferate the already unfair power structure toward the masses, bitter people will forever harp on the game and the playing field, but the creation of golf courses--most courses--are beautiful things. They show that humans can create a playing field that's a literal field, a breathing, living essential part of the sport.

I caught the morning sun kiss the 15th hole and I snapped a picture...

A picture I quite like.

Everyone Needs A Bed...

 We have a standard poodle. Because I'm fortunate enough to work at home, I get to see our dog many times throughout the day. There are times when I'm the only one upstairs. During those times, he's not allowed into the main room or the kitchen, which means he's denied access to a favorite resting place...

Our couch.

Or, as I call it, his upstairs dog bed.

On those days, the dog makes his way into my office and lays down on the carpeted floor. It's not a bed, but I figured, the floor is soft so he should enjoy my office. But, it wasn't his upstairs dog bed. That's when I got an idea. I took one of the couch cushions and put it on the floor in my office. I wasn't sure if he'd like it or even us it.

Turns out, he did both.

Because of that, we decided to buy him another bed so there'd be one on each floor. Of course, that meant we had to go shopping. We did not take the dog with us, even though we could have. I had my son hold up a few models so we could send the pictures home to see if they were acceptable. We decided on one that had sides. Our dog loves sides.

Everyone needs a bed. Our dog now has two.