This E-Mail Showed Me...How Much I've Changed

I've been fortunate enough to be part of several local writing conventions and symposiums since 2013 when my first short story was published. I admit, it was a rush sitting on panels with internationally known best-selling authors. I even thought--several times--that I didn't belong on those panels. I hadn't "earned" it. 

I soon realized that this attitude didn't help anyone. It didn't help the fellow panelists, and it did a great disservice to those in attendance that paid good money to listen to the panel. So, I changed my attitude and tried to do the best job I could to bring interesting and helpful advise to everyone in the room.

I think I've done a good job since then. Of course, others may disagree, but I've tried.

One of my favorite conventions is the Life, the Universe, and Everything, (LTUE) Writing Symposium held each February in Provo, Utah. It's a quality convention with a light, fun, and engaging feeling from the guests and panelists. The first time I was asked to participate, I was over the moon--and I had a great time.

I was asked back each year, and then...

I wasn't.

This was a couple of years ago, and to be honest, it stung, even though my writing resume--though it had improved--was not stellar. It was nowhere near others who get asked back year after year. But, I decided to make the best of it. I didn't bad-mouth the convention or their decision. And, life went on.

Last year, I was asked to participate and had fun. I always have fun hanging out with my writer friends and getting to know the readers. I applied for the 2020 convention and I got the e-mail last week.

This time, my reaction to not being invited was different. It didn't sting; I didn't feel slighted. In fact, I was okay with it. Years ago, I gaged my writing success on whether or not I was asked to be on panels. Now, I know that has little to do with it. Sure, I'll miss hanging out in the panelist room with the other authors and meeting new people. I want to be a writer that they want to ask, a writer who has numerous fans who will attend when they find out I'm coming. That will take a lot of work on my part, but after all, being a successful writer can't come without the hard work. And who knows--maybe I'll be asked to come back in 2021. We'll have to see what happens.