Even MORE of the Old Testament According To Steven...Samson

Since Steven's I/M was so "inclusive" I broke it up into two parts. The first part can be found: Here.

And so, here's some of Steven's thoughts on Samson. And, of course, the pictures have absolutely nothing to do with the story...

Steven (9:07:51 AM): then you have Samson
Steven (9:10:39 AM): samson was prophesied to be a problem to the philistines but he was a problem for both philstines and israel
Steven (9:10:52 AM): and he was a judge of the people for 20+ years
Steven (9:11:01 AM): long haired hippie who looked out for number one
Steven (9:14:19 AM): his story also seems to point out that God picks fights
Steven (9:14:27 AM): and uses dumb/wicked people against one another
Steven (9:14:31 AM): but he sets these things up
Steven (9:14:46 AM): israel is in bondage in the preceding chapter cuz of disobedience
Steven (9:14:54 AM): for 40 years and then God is going to deliver them
Scott (9:15:36 AM): Isn't patience a virtue?
Steven (9:16:34 AM): samson doesnt really do that and the lesson is that personal agency can thwart God's plan at times I suppose, but here's what happened
Steven (9:16:49 AM): he leaves family and goes into philistine town. sees a philistine girl and falls in love
Steven (9:17:24 AM): the parents arent happy but the scripture states 'it is of the Lord' for this interfaith marriage as part of a plan to strike the philistines
Steven (9:17:42 AM): on the way to ask the girl to marry him he is attacked by a lion
Steven (9:18:08 AM): the equivalent to a yippy ankle biter dog in today's modern society

Steven (9:18:30 AM): he 'discovers' his strength by killing it.
Steven (9:18:57 AM): sets up the marriage then decides to propose a riddle to the philistine wedding guests that they cant solve.
Steven (9:19:16 AM): so of course the philistines threaten to burn the girl and her family if she doesn't pry the answer from samson.
Steven (9:19:38 AM): so of course she gets the answer and turns on sampson
Steven (9:19:47 AM): the prize was 30 changes of garments.
Steven (9:20:17 AM): samson is mad that he has to give garment changes to the people who figured this out. so how does he do it? he goes to the neighbors and kills 30 of them and strip them.
Steven (9:20:34 AM): here's your garments i promised you. you may want to wash it first
Steven (9:20:37 AM): has some stains on it
Steven (9:20:44 AM): and you may want to sew up the tear there, there, there, and there.....
Steven (9:21:08 AM): then he dumps his wife and goes home
Steven (9:22:04 AM): he decides to go back for the girl and it turns out the father in law thought samson was done with her so he married her off to samson's friend instead. but offers up her younger sister instead. dad in law knows about samson's murderous rage....
Steven (9:22:24 AM): samson decides to get revenge
Steven (9:22:31 AM): his revenge takes quite a bit of time
Steven (9:22:59 AM): he captures over 300 foxes ties fireworks to their tails then sets them loose through the cornfields around harvest time burning up the towns food supply
Steven (9:23:02 AM): spiteful bugger
Steven (9:23:35 AM): of course the philistines aren't going to take it lying down but he ends up killing over a thousand of the town and surrounding environs with the jawbone of an ass
Steven (9:23:40 AM): then he goes into hiding
Steven (9:24:04 AM): so israel/judah go with an army to hand over samson to the philistines to appease them
Steven (9:24:32 AM): he consents to go and once in philistine power he kills more of the philistines
Steven (9:24:57 AM): actually I think I'm off there. he hid after burning the fields, israel hands him over, THEN he kills over a thousand of them
Steven (9:24:59 AM): still....
Steven (9:25:15 AM): and he was a JUDGE in israel. talk about your public figure
Steven (9:25:36 AM): then he goes for 2nd prize and moves in with Delilah
Steven (9:26:07 AM): the philistines weight at the gate of the city to ambush him but he rips the gate off the city and carries it up a hill. you would think the people would cut their losses after seeing that and leave him alone
Steven (9:27:11 AM): and later on when they have him chained to the 2 pillars at the party house you would think if he could rip the gates off the city he would probably bring down the support beams.........

Steven (9:29:38 AM): samson was stupid with delilah, though I suspect he was just proud/arrogant. he had to have known she was setting him up each time she 'tied him up' and then started the 'oh, btw the philistines are upon us. oh save me.....' dont worry I'll just slip out of these knots you kinky little minx and be right back.
Steven (9:29:39 AM): 3x
Steven (9:29:47 AM): and how many philistines were left after all this
Steven (9:29:48 AM): ?
Steven (9:30:26 AM): and shaving off samson's hair at the end, it really wasn't the hair that gave him strength it was God. he just expected God to deliver him all the time. took it for granted i think
Steven (9:32:02 AM): but as is common, the woman is the source of the problem. samson finally got sick of her pestering him 'unto death' as the scriptures say. and cuts off his 'benefit' for going to her until he gives in
Steven (9:32:11 AM): typical even down till today
Steven (9:32:32 AM): and of course samson's story brings the house down
Steven (9:32:38 AM): literally
Steven (9:32:38 AM): badum bum
Steven (9:32:40 AM): i was amused
Steven (9:32:50 AM): now i have carpel tunnel and need to take the rest of the day off
Scott (9:33:05 AM): Dude...my head hurts
Steven (9:33:12 AM):)
Steven (9:33:22 AM): and they still have me teach primary....
Scott (9:34:24 AM): The horror...the horror...

The opinions expressed in this blog are Steven's alone and are in no way endorsed by any ecclesiastical entity that I know of. Happy Sabbath everyone!