Genetics have denied me the chance to grow facial hair. Believe me, in the fifty-three years I've been on this earth, I've tried again and again to grow something--anything--on my face.
Nope.
Ain't going to happen.
It's just the way it is.
And I'm okay with that. I mean, what choice to I have? I know there's ways to replace hair on the top of your head...not necessarily good ways, but there are ways. Growing beards or mustaches, or goatees though...probably not a market for fake/permanent mustaches, beards, and goatees.
Of course, you can always be a pirate in a play.
The only time in my life I've sported a mustache is when I'm on stage. They don't look 100% convincing (or maybe they do--I'm not a good judge of this...), but they're good enough to make the audience believe I haven't shaved my upper lip for some time. Personally, I think it's a blast to wear a mustache. It makes me look so different and gives me a glimpse of what could have been. In the current show I'm in, I feel like I should have a striped tank top and a huge barbell to carry around, a la, the ol' time strong man carnival performer.
The problem--once I take off the mustache after wearing it before and during the show, it still feels like it's there, even hours later. Right now, I can still feel it there, even though I took it off four hours ago. I'm sure residue from the adhesive has something to do with it as well.
When I think about it, I'm sure that when guys who have grown a beard, mustache, or goatee naturally feel the same way once they shave off their facial hair. They must feel the same way.
Tonight, I'll go to sleep, wake up tomorrow, and after working a ten-hour shift, head off to the theater. Hopefully, the ghost mustache will be gone by then, only to have it return as I try to fall asleep tomorrow night. Then, Heaven help me on Saturdays. We do two shows each Saturdays during the run. I wonder if I'll keep feeling the mustache all day on Sunday.
Time will tell.
