I Guess We're Starting New Traditions...

 When you make a major life change (new job, moving, etc...), you find you miss some things, but not so much other things. One thing I realized after our move last fall that I had taken for granted was our proximity to the cemetery where so many family, friends, and loved ones are laid to rest.

For almost fifty years, I was able to get in my car and drive to the cemetery about a mile away from our house. I could visit my parent's graves, place flowers, or a carved pumpkin at Halloween any time I wanted. I'd then just turn around and travel the mile back to our home.

Those days are gone.

This week was the first Memorial Day were we had to travel. It's only about an hour away from our old house...still, we needed to make some plans. We packed a lunch, carpooled and met the rest of the family at noon. After putting flowers on the graves, we sat in the shade of a huge tree and enjoyed each other's company.

It hit me, as I snapped a picture or two of the gathering, it was the first time we've ever done that. I don't think I've ever had a meal at the cemetery, let alone, a meal with my extended family. As we chatted, we talked about how we'll be doing this again...a new family tradition has been born.

There are a lot of things I miss about the old home--many of those things I've gotten over fairly easily. But, not being close to the folks...I can say I'll miss that a lot.

Give Thanks...For Sacrifice

 There are a lot of crap things found in social media...but since there's opposition in all things, I suppose it can be a force for good. I found something written by a friend, a fellow performer, and a soldier.

I felt it appropriate for the day before Memorial Day. The following is used with his permission.

Memorial Day 2021 - Finding Your Thermopylae

I have a tradition with students, Cadets, Soldiers, etc. of giving a “Last Lecture”, - a PPT with images and videos that illustrates my so-called “Ten Lessons for Life.” They include things like being a good neighbor, being humble, not sweating the small stuff, and more. Rule 7, however, is on my mind today this Memorial Day, as it is, “Find Your Thermopylae.”

You see, around 480 BC in a coastal mountain pass in Greece, 300 Spartans, led by their King, Leonidas, stood against an overwhelming and daunting Persian Force, and accepted a certain death mission to protect their retreating compatriots, delay the Persians, and indirectly inspire legend, other city-states, and Hollywood. More importantly for my lesson, they became an archetype for individuals literally willing to die for a cause. The challenge I give those who cross my classroom thresholds is to find THEIR Thermopylae - to ask themselves what are THEY willing to die for.

Now, I sincerely hope none of my charges is ever forced to make that horrific exchange, but I think it important to evaluate what things we would “stand at Thermopylae” to protect. Within the military (and most of the time outside as well) I’ve observed that the top three answers are always, “Family, God, and Country,” with fellow Veterans usually coming in fourth. What becomes the poignant and sometimes uncomfortable part of the lesson is when I follow up the question “What are you willing to die for?” with, “What are you willing to LIVE for?” Many have said they’d die for their country, but don’t vote, or take an active role in their country’s future (i.e. give up time to improve their country). They say they’d die for their family, yet ignore family members’ pleas or needs (often avoiding them). There are those who stand by their religion or faith “Til death,” but don’t live it in how they treat others, legislate, or behaved during this Pandemic year. Many would “take a bullet” for a Battle Buddy, but not a phone call.

So what’s the point? Memorial Day is a time set aside to honor those who wore, served in, and died in, a uniform. It honors those who, for whatever their reasons may be, found their “Thermopylae.” For me, it’s also a reminder of what their Thermopylae’s were - what things they truly died to protect, preserve, or promote. It’s a bit trite to merely reduce such things to “freedom” or “justice,” as the actualities are far more complex and nuanced. Further, those at the helm often have less honorable intentions or ideals. The fact, however, remains that there are those who gave their own futures for the one we currently hold and shape, and today I am in meditative contemplation on how we live for that things they died for. When we don’t protect basic freedoms, attack each others’ essential liberties, or ignore the volatility around us, it may be that we are figuratively trampling what they actually fought and died for. They may have carried flags, worn uniforms, and proudly sung an anthem but I guarantee that piece of cloth, or bit of song isn’t what they died for. I believe, and would propose, that the true duty we owe is in making this a country worth fighting and dying for, and in celebrating the joys that they don’t get to today.

“If flowers are all we bring them now, then they have died in vain.

If tears are all we shed for them, forgotten they remain.

If by their courage we ourselves to courage are not led...

Then needlessly these graves have closed above our heroes dead.” - Edgar A. Guest

And to Brent, Josh, Joe, Kim, Lori, Ashley, Oscar, Fernando, Liam, Sakhidad, and far too many more to name or count... I’m sorry. I miss you. And I mourn you. You should have lived longer had the world been a better place. You found your Thermopylae, and now await Valhalla. May the rest of us find ours...

Happy Memorial Day

Josh Curtis

Josh wears the uniform and teaches those that share that commitment. My father also wore the uniform and worked at the same place Josh works now. I'll bet they'd have been good friends, had they met. Thanks Josh for the words, for the friendship, and especially for your example. I hope I'll be able to remember your words tomorrow, and always.