Missing Someone She's Never Met...

 The words were beautiful and poignant and perfect for today. My sister would turn 56-years old today, but she's no longer with us. I woke to a post from her half-sister, Kathy. What makes the words more beautiful is her half-sister never met Tara, not in this life, anyway.

From her post, you'd think they grew up together.

We met Kathy after my sister passed away. In a bittersweet coincidence, my sister put in the mail an Ancestry.Com DNA kit the morning she suffered a stroke, a stroke from which she never recovered. Had she not done that, our family might never have met Kathy. The DNA results came back and we found Kathy, my sister's half-sister lived only an hour away. Since me and all of my siblings are adopted, and my sister's family is from California, it's incredible she had a half-sibling who lived so close. Kathy's been part of our family gatherings ever since. She's become a part of my niece and nephew's family, acting as a de facto mother to my sister's children and grandchildren.

But, if you think about it, it makes sense that many of those wonderful qualities found in my sister can also be found in her big sister. Genetics can be funny that way. 

Today, we all miss our little sister, those who knew her all her life, and those who never met her. I so wish my sister could have met Kathy...they would have been the best of friends. From the words expressed today, I can tell they already are.

Missing My Sister...On Her Birthday

 It's strange how you cannot know the future, no matter what some may say or think. In May of last year, we gathered as a family at the cemetery, a tradition we've done every year for decades. We didn't know a year later, instead of visiting just my parent's graves, we'd be visiting my sister's grave, too.

Today's her birthday, the first those of us left behind will experience without her. 

In the little more than a half century I've been on this planet, I've lost parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, close friends, and now a sibling. I know dying as as much a part of life as being born, but it's strange still on this side while others are on the other.

It's a new reality for our family, spouse missing a spouse, children missing a mother, grandkids missing a grandma, friends missing a friend, brothers missing a sister. 

We began with five of us, dad, mom, and three little kids. We lost our patriarch shortly after we three kids joined the group. We then went more than thirty years before we had to plan a funeral. In those thirty-plus years, we never knew when our visit to the cemetery would be the same or different from year to year.

It's my sister's birthday today. We are missing her today, as we have since she passed. And we'll continue missing her every single day.