Give Thanks...For Friends

 A week ago and a day, me and tens of thousands of other fans gathered to enjoy a game of college football. Parents attended with their children, couples both married and not came on dates. Older couples--season ticket holders for generations--sat and watched the game together. 

Me? I sat with friends.

Friends I've known them longer than I haven't known them.

There was a time when the three of us sat in a building a few blocks north of the stadium, a building originally constructed for religious studies...to add a balanced education to an already-full educational plate. Thirty years ago, we gathered at noon and rehearsed for an hour, every weekday, week after week, month after month, year after year. We learned songs, studied under the tutelage of Dr. Edgar Thompson, and created life-long friendships.

As we walked to the game (after scoring an awesome free parking spot...), we actually passed the West Institute building where we rehearsed. My friend recalled when it all began. I sat waiting for a class to begin, Professor Vrooman's econ class--the one with Scott Mitchell as a fellow student--when Bob saw me sitting alone. He joined me and said that he was not enrolled in that class, but hoped to add it, because he got into an a'cappella choir and they were going on tour to England at the end of the year. I said I'd like to do that. Bob said to show up to class--they were still looking for singers.

I went, I auditioned, Dr. Thompson added me to his group and that chance meeting in that freshman class ended up changing my life.

That's what friends do. They change your life. Because of friends and the decisions made with them, because of them, lives are changed. When I say I'm eternally thankful for my friends, that's not hyperbole...it's the truth. 

We sat and watched the game clock tick down to 00:00, cracking jokes and enjoying the company. To cap the night, the home team won, but even if they hadn't, spending time with friends--win or lose--is always worth it. I'm thankful for friends.

Give Thanks...Friends

 

Out of the blue a friend sent an e-mail to a gang of friends. I was fortunate to be included in the recipients. The message was wonderful, but then something better happened...each of us in turn responded and we added to the thread. I now have a digital copy of some incredible thoughts and emotions and most of all, memories.

Last month we were challenged to post things for which we were grateful and to use the hashtag: #GiveThanks when doing it. For a week, everything I posted included the hashtag. After a week of not posting #GiveThanks posts, I kind of missed doing it, so I'm going to include a #GiveThanks post at least once a week (unless I forget and post something else...). Today I wanted to give thanks for my friends.

To say I have had great friends in my life is an understatement. They have literally saved my life, at least, had they not been there, I wouldn't be where I am today. First, Jim sent the initial e-mail. He had been going over a journal he kept in high school and he felt moved (or inspired...) to reach out to that group of guys who made such a difference in his life. I felt I needed to respond and so I did. I explained how I mooched my way into that group and what a difference it made for me during a tough time.

A few days later, another e-mail came, then another. I think everyone has chimed in--I don't know if they did so because they felt obligated, or just wanted to let us all know how they felt, most likely the latter. They too shared experiences and memories and gave thanks for us friends.

I'm so glad Jim reached out. I think each of us wished we could get together to hang out, and if I had my way, it would be in my old house listening to Rush LPs on our Realistic HiFi, pumped through the ancient speakers my dad built.

But, the house has new owners, the HiFi is long gone, but I still have those incredible speakers. The biggest problem in us getting together is where we live. Several still reside along the Wasatch Front. I moved an hour away. One lives on the west cost and one in the middle of the country. Even without covid, it would be tough to get together. We did the next best thing--wrote messages to each other via e-mails.

When you go through a collective experience like school or the military or a mission, you bond with those people. It's one of the things I most like about being a human. Others may have empathy, but they'll never truly understand because they weren't there with the people that shared life during those times.

Tonight--and hopefully, every day for the rest of my life--I give thanks for my friends, past and present, here and no longer with us. Part of who I am is due to their influence...I hope they can live with that ;)

When No One Knows...

He didn't.

We know because he's still with us.

She didn't.

She told us why.

Yesterday was National Suicide Prevention Day. There's so many National Day this, and National Day that, that--to be honest--I get sort of numb to it, especially when something as serious as suicide is listed alongside such other National Days like National Doughnut Day, or National Left-Handers Day (okay, that last one is kind of cool, but is in no way as important...).

Yesterday, I sort of ignored it.

That is, until I read a social media post from an acquaintance. I don't know if I'll ever treat the day so lightly ever again.

We all know people who have taken their own lives, or people who have tried. Maybe you're one of those people who tired, or have thought about it. I don't know the statistics--I read a post saying suicide is the most common cause of death for males under 45-years old. I'm not sure if this is worldwide, or in the USA. And, if it's true, it doesn't matter because wherever it's true, it's tragic.

The post he wrote, well...it stopped me cold. I've had friends who have committed suicide and I knew they weren't happy. They'd gone through trials in their lives and some seemed to never recover. Then there's the ones who say the person was always happy--no signs of trouble. But, obviously there were.

In the social media post I read yesterday, the acquaintance explained what happened, and how he went from choosing the day he would end his life, and how things slowly got better. I was shocked reading the words--I had no idea. Since we're not close (we don't see each other much, but I've followed his posts on social media for years...), I had no idea how he was doing other than from what he posted. I kept imagining how shocked I would have been had I opened the computer and read about how he was no longer with us, how he took his life. I would have wondered if I could have done something to alter the unchangeable ending.

I would have come up with zero results, which would make the tragedy that much worse.

We live in a world where pain and hate and fear grow and fester in the hearts of men, women, and children, where these traits are many times celebrated and encouraged. It's taking its deadly toll. I'm so glad this person shared their experience. And I hope I remember it more than just one day a year. May we be more loving, more caring, more brave...may those grow in our hearts instead. 

You Never Know What You're Going To Get...When You Search For Something

After last night's Utah Jazz win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, the player of the game, Ricky Rubio, attended the after-game press conference wearing a F • R • I • E • N • D • S shirt. This caused me to remember a promotional ad NBC created back when they televised the NBA playoffs and when the show Friends was on the air. Many a Jazz fan commented on Ricky's shirt after seeing the press conference. And since we live in an amazing age, I googled the NBC ad and posted the link on Twitter.

You can see the ad: HERE. It's quite funny.

I'm sure if you spend any time on a computer at all you notice that whatever you search for will find eventually become an advertisement. 

Yup--you guessed it. Since I googled "Friends," I saw an ad for friends. Not the show, or anyone associated with the show, but--from what I can ascertain--actual friends. A link for me to find friends at Walmart. I guess they're just waiting for me to somehow pay for them and they'll become my new friends. And, as an added bonus, they're on sale--score!

I never did click on the link. Maybe I should have. I mean, who can't use more friends?

Pictures Sent To Me In 1985...

I didn't take a picture today for my Pic Of The Day so I thought I'd dig in a box of old photos and choose one. But once I dug into the pictures, I found so many I could choose from. Thus was my quandary. Which one to use?

I found one from a 1992 U of U A'cappella Choir. Personally, I think it's a great picture.

The other pictures, though. I wanted to use them as well. As I looked through only a small portion of the photos, I found a selection of shots that people sent to me back in 1985. Back in 1985 I was living in Europe on an LDS mission. Back then there was no internet, no sending pictures through e-mail or on Facebook. No, we had to share pictures the old fashioned way--through the mail.

As I started looking through them, I thought it would be cool to gather a few great photos together, take pictures of then, and write today's blog post using my family and friends as the blog post subject.

And so that's what I did.

Some in these shots are no longer with us (my mom, my little dog, my VW...). But everyone in these pictures have undergone dramatic changes in their lives. Of course, that could be said about everyone who had lived for the past thirty-one years.

So, I'm including these photos to show you some of the most important people in my life back then. And the good news is, they still are today.

Happy Birthday, Matt!

It's my friend's birthday today. Thanks to Facebook, I am reminded of several friend's birthdays. I've written about this friend before, and I think I've even taken the opportunity of a blog post to wish him a happy birthday. I'll have to check the achieves. 

But this year, is a big birthday year for several of my friends. Some have already passed this milestone, the one my friend is experiencing today. It's one I'll be experiencing in eighteen days.

Today Matt turns fifty-years old.

Turning fifty has always held a fascination for me, and maybe it does for everyone. For me I remember looking at my father's headstone and thinking, he lived from 1924 to 1974--he was fifty-years old when he died. Actually, he never made it to fifty--he was about ten months shy of that mark. Half a century is a long time. It means my friend survived the childhood years filled with riding bicycles without helmets and taking long family trips to Idaho and beyond without wearing a seatbelt. 

It means he survived those awkward teenage years (personally, I believe any child that survives jr. high school should get a monetary prize--something in the hundreds of dollars would be fitting...). He survived learning to drive a car, and dating, going to high school dances and having late-night video and pizza parties in friend's basements.

He survived his twenties when life got real, his thirties when life got more real and his forties when the perspective of life takes on new meaning as one realizes there's probably less years ahead than what's behind.

Through it all, Matt's been a true friend. We used to run around a little track painted on the black top at the local elementary school together. We ran track in jr. high and high school together. We roomed together in college and we've seen the highs and lows of each other through the years. He was even the Best Man at my wedding. We've talked about running, religion, girls then women (not necessarily in that order...) and, it seems, everything in between. And I miss those days and those talks.

Matt, I don't know what's going through your mind today, but I hope it's filled with good friends, delicious food and family that loves you. I wish I could be there to offer happy birthday greetings in person, but it's not to be. I'm glad I've known you for forty-five of those fifty years. Here's to at least that many more!

A Time For Reunions...

Tonight I assembled with friends, many I haven't seen in decades. We met to catch up, to remember the days when we all lived and served in Denmark. When we lived there we were basically kids and grandparents, each there for different reasons, but also for one unifying reason.

In my culture/religion we go on missions. We grow up, especially the young men, thinking about where we'll serve. My friends and I traveled to every corner of the world, basically doing the same thing. And tonight many of us who were called to serve in Denmark gathered. We ate, we visited, we discussed our families and jobs. And by the simple act of being together, we affirmed a love for a country and a people we all miss dearly.

After dinner we posed for a group photo. That's when I grabbed my camera and tried getting some shots. We're older, and (in general...) larger, and a full head of hair has been something many of us can only vaguely remember. But the memories of our days, weeks and years in a land across the ocean binds us in a way nothing else could. Tonight we assembled and memories of our past returned.

Star Trek, Nerds, Friends, A Lot Of Fun...

Last week I wrote about new movies coming out this summer that I'd like to see. In that post I said I'd probably not see the new Star Trek film and wait for it to come out on Redbox. Turns out, I didn't do that. Last night my wife and I joined several friends and we saw the film.

I knew that some of my friends were dressing up for the event. I lack the proper attire to join in so we dressed as civilians. An invitation went out on Facebook last week for all who wanted to join us, but they said we'd be on our own for costumes. One person responded: "The question is, do you already have these costumes in your closet?"

And my friend answered: "um, yes . . ."

When my wife heard that others were dressing up, she asked (a little concerned...), "Do we have to dress up, too?" I assured her, we didn't. Though, I think it would have been cool to dress up as Scottie.  

Oh, and the movie was pretty great, too.