A Very, Very Long Week...

 It's Friday, the traditional end of the work week. Most people love Fridays...it's their favorite day. Like everyone else who works "traditional" schedules, my work week ended, too...

And it was one of the longest work weeks of my life.

The problem wasn't the work itself. As far as that goes, it was normal, or as normal as things go with my particular job. I had a few unusual cases. "Unusual" makes my job a little harder. With most things, when situations arise that are out of the ordinary, it's like throwing a stick into the front wheel of an already-moving bicycle. It messes things up.

No, it wasn't the work that caused this week to feel longer than it was. No, it was something personal, something that changed at work...a change that cannot be reversed.

Our team got some bad news a week ago today. I returned to work Monday and tried to do my job as well as I could. I managed the cases, budgeted my time, and cleared the work, but as soon as I got in a rhythm, those thoughts I tried keeping in my subconscious crept into my conscious and a wave of sadness washed over me, throwing me off and forcing me to remember...

To remember.

Grief is a strange animal. It's like a ghost...something you can't touch, but you know it's there, and when you're at a point where you think you can confront the ghost, reason with it, maybe even bring resolution to the situation, the ghost disappears and for a fleeting moment, you think you've won.

Then, the ghost reappears, again, and again, and again.

This week, I did my job, but those thoughts returned. When I logged off for the last time this week, it was like I had run a long race and I could finally stop. 

In two days and two three nights, I'll wake to my alarm, sit at my desk, and log in to my computer. I'll open all the programs, the screens that allow me to do my job. Maybe next week won't be a long, or feel as long. That's my hope, anyway. 

As with all things, time will tell.