I found this picture from a outdoor lighting website. I was looking for a theater marquee. Why? Because I was asked to audition for a show. The auditions were yesterday and I turned it down.
It breaks my heart.
Even though I've only been part of one theater community, I imagine it's the same if I lived in Boise, Fort Wayne, or Bangor Maine...the theater community is family. And you do for family, including help out and sacrifice.
I began my community theater career in the summer of 2000. My son (who was five-years old at the time...) and I decided to audition for A Christmas Carol. We made the cast two weeks in, the show was changed to Scrooge. We did the show, loved it, and returned the next year and did the same show again. Since 2000, I've been involved in perhaps twenty community theater productions as either an entertainer or director. It's been a huge part of my life, but things have changed...
Things always change.
I think because I was reliable (and less because of my talent...), I have several times been asked to either audition, or to replace someone in a show already in production. Almost every time, I've stepped up and helped. Some of my most prized memories are from those shows. I've made life-long friends and had experiences I'll cherish forever.
I remember in one of my last community theater productions, a cast member made the decision that this would be his last show. I remember hearing him say the words, and I couldn't believe it. How could such a talented performer just walk away? I asked him during one of those times when it's just him and me and he explained that he wanted to spend more time with his family and his business. He didn't say he would "never" do another show, but he just didn't see it happening. To my knowledge, I believe he's kept his word.
The request to audition for a Christmas show came last week. Amazingly, it's for the same production of A Christmas Carol that my son and I auditioned for twenty-three years ago and directed by someone from that original production in 2000. I LOVE that show, the music is wonderful, the people in the theater organization are simply the best, but I'm twenty-three years older now. Plus, I no longer live ten minutes from the theater.
Theater is family, and I feel like I'm letting my family down. They'll audition incredible actors for the roles and audiences will love what they've done with the story. It will literally change people's lives. I'm honored as ever, to be asked to come and audition, and it hurts to decline, but perhaps the greatest pain come from the realization that one day--and perhaps it's already happened--the requests to audition, the asking for help, will stop. I'm grateful to have been asked. I'm grateful for the trust others put in me with each show, each situation. I'm a better man for it.
Like my fellow cast member said, I'm not saying "never again" but I just wonder if there will be another time when I'll say, "Yes."
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