Thursday, April 14, 2011

Harvard Exilis Pre-School Preparatory Academy Acceptance Letter

From the desk of Dr. Myron Banks

Harvard Exilis Pre-School Preparatory Academy 123 Sycamore Drive Salt Lake City, Utah 84111

The Fossets 12 Belnap Circle, Basement Draper, Utah 84020

Dear D’Artagnan Skipper Fosset, (the first)'s: Mommy/Daddy, Mommy only, Daddy only, or other combination:

It is with tremendous pleasure that we announce D’Artagnan’s entrance into the exclusive Harvard Exilis Pre-School Preparatory Academy’s “Baby Steps—Giant Assumptions” Pre-Pre-School Program! You should feel extremely proud that your son/daughter will be attending a curriculum rated in the top 57% of all Pre-School Preparatory programs in seven selected western states, and voted the Number One Pre-Pre-School destination of schools located east of 7th East by Particular Parent’s Magazine in 2003!

You should be aware the D’Artagnan’s acceptance into our program means his recognition, awareness, and animal sounds-mimicking skills were among the top of all children considered for this elite Pre-Pre-School experience. Your son/daughter will be joining other “cream of the crop” children who have been lucky enough for consideration, like:

Raiff Boyles

Tiffahniey Waverly

William Fudger

McKaty Mills

Laken Jones

All living in the 84020 zip code area. Perhaps you know the: Boyles, Waverlys, Fudgers, Millss, and/or the Joness and if so, felt your little D’Artagnan was as good as any of them. Now, you know he/she is! We know that your joy in hearing this fantastic news will be difficult to contain. Please, don’t—tell your neighbors, friends, Relief Society/Elder’s Quorum, social inferiors of this monumental event. Let them share in your good fortune!

We at the Harvard Exilis Pre-School Preparatory Academy are please with our admired alumni. Many of our past students have furthered their scholastic goals and artistic pursuits. Former pupils have become business leaders, social activists and many performed as extras in not one, but all three of the “High School Musical” movies.

Again, we welcome your son/daughter and look forward seeing him/her walk our hallowed halls and enjoy our newly acquired portable classrooms (for those students too young to actually walk). As we say at Harvard Exilis, Carpe Probabilis! Seize the potential!


Dr. Myron Banks, DVM