Monday, July 14, 2014

If You Say "It Can Never Be Too Hot," You're Wrong...

I have friends, many friends who claim a falsehood. They say that it cannot be too warm when they're talking about the summer temperatures outside.

And I'm here to declare that they could not be more wrong.

It can, in fact, be too warm.

This is not some idle claim. It's fact, one I've researched for almost fifty years.

We know people, people who once lived in places like Las Vegas, or Phoenix--basically, they lived on the surface of the sun. And I've asked them how they survived the heat unleashed from the pits of hell.

"You know," they say, confident in their answer, unaware that they have suffered irreparable damage to their brains from experiencing the inhuman heat. "It's kind of like living here (in the Rocky Mountains...) in the winter. You stay inside when it gets too hot, like you stay inside in the winters when it's too cold." 

Ah...that's nice, I think.

Except they're wrong!

You see, when it gets cold in the winters where I live, you can do a little something like bundling up. You put on a sweater, or a jacket or coat--layers work wonders. I have never--and I cannot stress this enough--I have never felt like my soul, my inner spirit, my life was being sucked out of my body as I walked from my air-conditioned car to my air-conditioned house. It just doesn't happen and that's why I think living in cold temperatures are different from being cursed by Satan with hot temperatures.

Yes, I have many friends who think it cannot be too hot. I've long stopped arguing with them--it's not worth it. They like what they like and I like what I like. Personally, I can't imagine a purgatory-esque world where 110º f or 120º f is not unbearable, but desirable. I wish them all the luck in the world.

1 comment:

  1. I have lived in Phoenix and Michigan. I have experienced heatstroke temperatures in both places and polar vortex temperatures in Michigan. They both suck. I used to dread the walk across the black parking lot from ASU to my apartment. Then, here in MI, we get the humidity with the not-quite-as-high numbers.

    The cold, though - I would take the extreme heat over the extreme cold, bundled up or not. This past winter, temps were so cold we were warned to stay inside for fear of frostbite within ten minutes of exposure.

    So, here's the question. Any place cheaper than SoCal that has SoCal weather? :D