To Penny And Scott
The announcement of your mother’s passing is difficult news to hear, be it for those who knew her personally, or for others, like myself, who know only some of her children. Losing a mother is tough, for a mother is given a sacred call, a call to nurture, to protect, to teach, to love unconditionally. And when that person has left us, there remains a void, a space that can never be filled or replaced.
Since losing my mother several years ago, I’ve wondered which is harder, losing a parent as a child or as an adult. Having experienced both, the answer is far from a simple examination of the facts. I hardly knew my father, not his personality anyway. As a child I knew him as a father who worked hard and who built things. In the four decades since he passed, I’ve gotten to know of him, his work ethic, his history, the incredible man he was, but getting to know him personally, well…that will happen at a later date.
But my mother—oh, I knew her well. She was both father and mother to three children, raising them alone. She was my protection, my advocate, my security, my friend. As I get older and many of my childhood friends are beginning to lose their parents, I hope they realize what a blessing it’s been for them to be able to just have a conversation with them, to tell them of their day, or how the grandkids are growing up way too fast. I hope they’ve taken advantage of that elusive element that slips through our fingers like sand on a beach and that, once gone, can never be recovered—the element of time.
I remember at my mom’s viewing someone asked me a question of how long we lived in that mobile home we parked in front of the house that my dad was building and never got to finish before he died. I told them I didn’t know (I was only four or five at the time we lived in that mobile home…). I told them I’d find out. I actually turned to look for my mother to ask her that simple question, a question she knew, but she was gone, and not only gone for that moment, but until we can again talk of such things.
So, to Penny and Scott and your family, I feel for you during this time. From what you’ve written I sense a love for your mother that is hallowed, and from what I know of you, she did a great job at being a mom. I pray for your family during this time and for the times that will come when you’ll miss her so much that your hearts will ache. When moms leave us, there remains a void, a space that can never be filled or replaced.
And, when you think about it, that’s really a good thing. God bless.
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