I thought, maybe…maybe it would be there. I mean, the law of
averages must catch up with me at some point. I know my luck’s lousy, but come
on! I entered the bookstore that was once a 7-Eleven at the end of an abandoned
strip mall and hoped.
Some, well…most would disagree with me but the smell of an
old used bookstore is one of the best smells in the world. Pages upon pages of
slowly deteriorating paper colored with script waiting to be either read or left to decay and meet an end that befalls all physical things. I tell
you, I can never get enough of that smell.
But was it there? Each day and I searched for it at the various kiosks
and shops that still sold physical books. I looked for the book that my father
first told me about, the book that—as a teenager—changed my life. My logical
mind knew that these antique books were becoming rarer and rarer. For once a book was destroyed or used up or fallen apart so it could no longer be read it was not being replaced. It was illegal, after all.
But only certain books were destroyed. If a book was deemed “indecent,” or “not politically
correct,” or in any way offensive it went on The List, and once it went on The List, it signaled a slow death knell of the work, regardless of its current or
past importance. I knew I (or anyone else for that matter…) would never see a
copy of Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, or Catcher in the Rye, or Lord of the Flies again. They even hated The Count of Monte Cristo for some strange reason. And forget
finding a copy of anything written by Ayn Rand. Funny, I keep seeing copies of Das Kapital and The Communist Manifesto translated into every language imaginable.
I knew as I walked down the various aisles that I’d probably
end up with nothing, again. As I passed book after book of bland, non-offensive
titles I smile. Only books not on The List were republished, all in digital
form. They knew that, after enough years, all those awful books would disappear
and if you were found in possession of “a bady,” they just upped your
individual tax rate or threatened to take away your family’s healthcare until
you turned it in. It wasn’t illegal to own a book on The List, just expensive.
Something I had thought many times before returned to my mind. The Nazi’s burned books…now
we just let them disintegrate—same result, just a slower process and without
that pesky “book burner” label to deal with.
I pulled out a book that I thought it was it, but nope—disappointed
again. Maybe at the next store I'd find it because one of these days, it’s going to be gone
forever.
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