Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A Couple Of Paragraphs...

A Couple Of Paragraphs From A Old/New Story...

Today I blew off the digital dust from an unfinished story. It's one of those stories that I know I need to put more time into. Hopefully I can. Any feedback would be great. Thanks for visiting.

Chapter 1
            The train that transported Susan McDonald to her job in D.C. was late causing the mass of humanity already waiting on the train platform to curse the lightly falling snow. They also cursed the bitter cold front that descended upon the east coast as the commuters now standing silent on the Alexander Union Station slept. The gray sky introduced the mob of labor to the morning of April 15, 1977.
            The cold air engulfed Susan as she wrapped the wool coat tighter around her shivering shoulders. Like most mornings the 28-year old happened to stand right behind “him,” though Susan didn’t know who “he” was, only an incredibly handsome man who took the same 6:37 a.m. train into the city to work. Ever since Susan began her job with the U.S. Department of Commerce the summer before—a job she was hating more and more with each passing day—the stranger stood in the same general vicinity on the platform to catch a train the two shared with the morose mob.
He wore his horsehide coat this morning, Susan thought as she bounced lightly on the tips of her toes trying in vain to keep blood coursing through her digits. She thought he might wear his London Fog trench coat that morning. Susan hoped the snow wouldn’t get any worse, more concerned for the man’s coat than her own needs. The man lifted his left hand to check his watch. As he did a gleam of light glittering off the man’s gold wedding band was not unnoticed by Susan. The immediately small spark of light in the cold gray world shot like tiny dagger into Susan’s heart. Again, like she had done numerous mornings before, Susan sought comfort in her pity. He should really be wearing his gloves, Susan almost said out loud as she saw the man’s pink fingers surrounding the ring disappear into the deep warm pocket of the coat.

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