Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Don't Think You're Getting Away With Something, Faux Sleeper...

We all see you, those of you who are taking up two seats on the bus. You're slumped in your chair, eyes closed, with your backpack and coat and other stuff gathered around you like a mother hen to her chicks.

Yeah, we know you're there.

We know what you're doing.

You're faux sleeping.

Don't get me wrong--we all know why you're doing it. The seats on the bus are not the built for many of the more "husky" passengers. And if you add to that all the other stuff we bring on board, having the space of two seats all to yourself is preferable, even appealing. But, it's a selfish move, bro--no two ways about it.

The more experienced faux sleepers don't sit in the window seat. No, no--they choose the aisle seat so it's extra uncomfortable for the passenger who just climbed aboard to not only "wake you up," but then ask if the seat next to you is taken.

But in all seriousness, I doubt the dude who sat next to me on tonight's bus ride home tonight was faux sleeping. The bus I take begins at the University of Utah campus and hospital. Falling asleep after a long day as a student or employee or student/employee is completely understandable. And, since it's almost Christmas Eve, there were far fewer riders on today's bus.

Having said that, I know there's been fakers out there and I've seen them as I've searched for an empty seat. Then there's the dudes who are not sleeping, but sit in the aisle seat anyway almost daring a fellow passenger to interrupt their solitude by asking them if the chair next to them is being used.

I'd rather they pretend to be asleep.

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