I needed more time.
How much more? I don't know, but I found that I couldn't stay in the group and continue the way I was going. It wasn't fair for them, or for me.
And it sucks.
It took me several years to join another writing group. Granted, I wasn't actively seeking a group, but when I heard about this one, I jumped at the opportunity. I attended for only a couple of months. Oh, I had big plans. Joining the group would provide the peer pressure I needed to get my writing butt in gear and create something. I would hate to not be prepared come Thursday nights. Also, I find I work better under pressure, and by that I mean, I will actually write something.
And I did write stuff. Turns out, the stuff I wrote wasn't very good.
I can almost hear the responses. "Duh! That's why you need to stay in the group!" That's a valid point, but the reason the writing wasn't good is because it was lazy. I was throwing stuff together a day or two before the deadline and running with it. I knew it was subpar, but I submitted it anyway.
Recently, I listened to The Writer's Dojo podcast. One particular subject dealt with writing groups. Something they said hit home. They talked about respecting the other members of the group, respecting their time. I realized I wasn't doing that. Maybe they don't think so, but I feel I wasted their time.
I told the group I needed to step away for awhile. I should have been more committed, better prepared. I owe the other writers, and myself that. I realize there might not be an opening when I'm ready to return, and that's okay. Things seem to work out for the best when the motive is true. Yes, stepping away stinks, but it was needed. Let's see what the future brings.
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