Monday, March 12, 2012

What If There Were No Conservatives...


I ran across this the other day and I thought I'd share it. And if you have a comment, please include it. I'd love to read it.

What If There Were No Conservatives

            "Geez! Who's smoking?" Tommy asked Gary for the fifth time since the two entered the coffee shop 15 minutes earlier. "Don't they have clean air laws in this lousy state?"
            "They might not," Gary told his co-worker and friend sent out-of-state on a business trip to a state neither men had ever before visited. The shop was nearly emptyhardly unusual since it was 5 a.m. Gary scanned the room and didn't see the culprit. Maybe the smoke came in from outside, Gary thought. "Some states have exemptions for dinners and truck stops, I think."
            Haven't these people ever heard of second-hand smoke? These people are neanderthals." Disgusted Tommy picked up the gratis copy of USA Today from the motel and scanned the headlines.
            "Damn conservatives! Look at this!" Tommy threw down the paper after a moment of silence. The paper landed in front of Gary who quietly sipped his coffee. "They're actually trying to expand gun laws! It's all those rich republicans and their money!" Gary shared many of his co-workers views but was not as vocal with his opinions.
            "Uh huh," Gary said glad the shop wasn't full of people. Had it been, Tommy would have been better behaved, but only slightly.
            "You don't even care," Tommy said turning in the booth. He looked outside the large window where an occasional semi truck would drive by.
            "Sure I do, I'm just not as passionate, I guess."
            "You probably don't care what those greedy uneducated idiots are doing to the environment, either."
            "Sure I do," Gary said slightly wounded. His lifestyle reflected his commitment. He drove a hybrid, used energy-efficient fluorescent light bulbs throughout his townhouse and he recycled almost everything he could. "You know I do."
            "Yeah, but what are you going to do to stop all the drilling? All the damage to the oceans? What about Global Warming? We're all screwed and you don't care."
            Gary was tired. He had had this conversation with Tommy before and didn't really want to get into it again. They had been in the same sub-compact rental car for 10 hours the day before and after only six hours of sleep, they had another long drive before the business meeting began at noon. Maybe had he not been so tired he wouldn't have said anything. But he did.
            "You ever thought..." Gary said not really noticing if Tommy was looking at him or not. "What if there were no conservatives." Tommy stopped drinking his coffee and looked at Gary.
            "Huh?" Tommy said confused.
            Gary put down his cup and tapped the newspaper with his finger. "Imagine all the conservativesnot only in America, but everywherejust disappearing. Poof...they're gone."
            "That would be fantastic!" Tommy said almost spitting out his coffee. "I would love that! Imagine itthat would be my dream!"
            Gary watched his co-worker revel in his hypothetical reality and saw joy in his eyes at the prospect. Eventually Tommy came back to earth.
            "Why would you ask me that? You got a plan to take out every conservative?"
            "No, I'm just thinking. You know, just asking..." Gary picked up the paper. "If there were no conservativeswhipped off the face of the earthdo you think we'd have any of these problems?"
            "No way! That's why we have all the problems in the first place...damn conservatives."
            "So, with no conservatives, we'd have no environmental problems at all?"
            "Nopewe pass tougher laws and the environment would finally start to heal."
            Gary opened the paper and placed it flat on the table. "Let me ask you, if there were no conservatives, who would pass those laws? I mean, do you think every liberal thinks the same about the environment?"
            Tommy looked Gail suspiciously. "What do you mean?"
            "So, there's no conservatives and congress starts making laws..."
            "Good!" Tommy interjected.
            "...but will that solve all our problems? If there's no conservatives, does everyone start to recycle?"
            "Sure...because only smart people will be left." Tommy laughed as his joke.
            "Only smart people," Gary chuckled. "Do you think they'll be any selfish people left?"
            "I guess there will be, but you eliminate greed, everyone wins."
            "Tommy, do you honestly think that if there were no conservatives, there would be no more greed?"
            "Well, maybe a little greed, but liberals don't think about themselves...they think about what's good for everyone."
            "So, they only think about the collective. Tell you what, Tommy. If there were no conservatives, there would still be selfish people. There would be people who think that no one should ever set foot in a national forest ever again. There would be people who would not only ban fishing, but ban forever having a boat on any body of water. There would be people who would want all cars made illegal and restrict anyone from traveling any further from their home than they could walk. These aren't selfish people?"
            "No," Tommy said annoyed. "Because they're thinking about everyone else."
            "Really? Hate to say it, but eliminating a political ideology won't solved fact, you might be surprised just how bad things could get."
            Tommy looked at his co-worker, someone he thought he knew. "You thinking about changing sides? Is that what this little heart-to-heart is all about?"
            "No...I'm just thinking out loud. We'd better hit the road if we want to make to the meeting by noon."
            "I guess. I think that second-hand smoke got to your brain." Tommy said as he dropped dollar bills onto the table to cover the bill. Gary joined him and the men left the coffee shop on route to their meeting. After the pair left the waitress cleaned up the table. "Wow...a 10% tip," she said to the nearly empty room.

*Recycle Logo used without permission from the following site:

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